Living a Crazy and Christian Life with Lung Cancer

think this is one of my favorite pictures of myself. My hair is growing back nicely, and I'm relaxing on the lazy boy. Overall, today was a relaxing day. I had an interview today for the KRAS kickers, and that went pretty well. Other than that, I didn't do too much. Today was a blissful day. I only had one setback. This evening, I had pain in my ribs about a 4/10, that was making me somewhat annoyed. I couldn't move because it would agitate it I have tumors in my chest wall that press on the nerves, ligaments, muscles and bones.I take medicine for this, and normally it works. If I didn't have my medicine I would probably be bedridden from the pain. I took my medicine but the pain was still present. I probably need an increase because this has been happening more often. However, despite this, my spirit was somehow calm in the midst of the storm. I felt at peace even though my body was in pain. I believe Jesus helped me get through the pain of my cancer today....

  A lot has been on my mind lately. I don't even know where to begin I am ambivalent about the fact i am off chemo now. I like that I am not sick and that I can do more things, bit the idea that the tumors are growing scares the crap out of me. Still upset about the rent increase. It's like they think I'm made out of money. 🤦 Feels like a slap in the face. I'm also terrified of something happening with my back and pelvis. My Dr said they are so fragile they are like an 80 year old's. The tumors in the back and pelvis made the bones weak. I already broke a vertebrae in my spine, which they fixed with surgery, and I have hairline fracture on my pelvis. We are just hoping my body heals the fracture naturally. I've been taking calcium to prevent fractures. kitty.lovie728 A lot has been on my mind lately. I don't even know where to begin I am ambivalent about the fact i am off chemo now. I like that I am not sick and that I can do more things, bit th...

  God is reminding me to be strong and not to be afraid. I know that He has a plan for me, and He wants everything to turn out to be good. I worry about many things nowadays, but whenever i think about God, it quiets my heart. He rests my spirit. He helps ease my crazy thoughts. God is good in every way possible. Even though I am struggling, I must remember God has my back.

Healthy snack of celery and peanut butter. It's helping me overcome the stressing I'm doing today Everything was fine until i learned they are increasing my rent. I am on disability due to my lung cancer, and i barely made it by before the increase. Idk what i am going to do because now all of my bills are going to put me at a deficit. Most of my credit cards are near their limit so i can't even fall back on those for support. I hate freaking out like this Stupid bills. Stupid adulting. Stupid painful and debilitating cancer I have a GoFundMe me in my bio if anyone wants to help. Any help will be appreciated from the bottom of my heart and soul. May God bless you and keep you.

  Have you ever made a mistake. Have you ever lied or ran a red light? That means you are a sinner. Don't worry, I'm not condemning you or trying to make you feel bad, for I am sinner too. All humans are sinners, and we have fallen short of God's glory. However, Jesus loves us so much that He took our sins to the cross and died for us. We don't have to worry that we will be judged for our inequalities because if we believe that Jesus died and rose again, He will advocate for us. He will wipe our sins clean, freeing us from the penalty of death, and take our place for our wrongdoings. We are free in Jesus.

  Last night i fell asleep on the lazy boy. When i woke up, my favorite friend was cuddling with me. She has been an amazing helper lately. She helped me get over the doctor's news about the clinic trial failing, about the fact we have no options left, and the fact I'll be on palliative care. I am feeling much better than from a month ago.in fact I feel normal. It's like i don't have cancer at all. I hope i stay in this state for a long time. One day at a time. No need to fret about the future. I just want to bring awareness. I want to bring awareness to young adults getting cancer, awareness to living with cancer, and awareness about living with terminal illness. I feel we need more awareness. Anyway, i am so grateful my cat has gotten my through this month. She is my little Angel and i love her. Gift from God.

Just me by the flowers. I'm feeling happy. I haven't felt happy in a long time I was depressed for a while because my last clinical trial had failed, and now they have no other options for me. I've been off of my cancer medicine for a month, and I'm actually feeling pretty good. I feel like I'm living a normal life despite the fact i have tumors in my body. My hair grew back, my body temperature is self regulating again, i have more energy. All i can say is that I'm going to take it one day at a time. I want to be happy even if i end up not getting cured in the end. That's better than being sad the whole time don't you think? I'm just living one day at a time Have an adventure everyday. Maybe a new clinical trial will come around, but even if it doesn't, i feel ok. God has granted me peace and happiness. Have a blessed day everyone.

  I went to see some flowers with my mom yesterday and what a day it was. I'm so grateful to God that is finally spring. I have severe seasonal affectivity disorder, and this winter was one of the hardest for me. I was depressed and hopeless. I just wanted the snow and cold to end. Being on cancer meds didn't help either. The fact all of my hair fell out, and the side effects made me feel much colder than it actually was. I was always freezing, even in the house. I've been off those medicines for a little bit and i am feeling back to normal. I am also happy that it's getting warmer. My heart feels warm just like the sun outside. Seasonal affectivity is real. I wish i didn't have it, but now I'm just grateful winter is over.

  So I'm happy my hair is growing longer. I've been feeling better now that I've been off chemo for a month and off radiation for a week and a half. I love having more energy. I have an appointment to see what we're going to do next on the 30th. Wish me luck. I've been trying to fit in stuff i can do now that i have the energy and vigor for it. It's quite nice not being sick from the medicine. I'm doing things i love to do. I am sort of dreading going back on medicine but if it's saving my life then it's worth it.

  I take the path less chosen. I decided to take a walk in the woods off of the path that people normally walk on. I had more energy today. I think it was from the protein coffee shake that i drank. I love having adventures. Seeing and being in the trees and woods is a medicine for me. It grounds me from the stressors of life. It makes me think of nothing but the amazing power of God. It gets my mind off of the struggle of my life. It helps me not think about how my body is trying to kill itself, my debt, my inner anxiety and depression, and my life in general. It's only peace. Nature is healing. Nature is helpful. Nature is beneficial for cancer patients. Nature is loving for everyone. When i get the energy, i always make sure to stop by the woods. It helps me, it heals me.