Posts

COVID

Image
I guess i have COVID It's weird because i don't feel sick. However i felt like death a few days ago. I had muscle aches, a cough, stuffy nose, shortness of breath,headache, fatigue, fever, sore throat, and general malaise. Weird thing is, half the symptoms are not different from my everyday cancer life, such as the fatigue, pain, shortness of breath, and malaise, That's why I didn't go to the Dr right away. I just thought it was everyday life. I went to my uncle's birthday party, where i really exerted myself, so i thought my cancer was acting up because of that. Looking back, i had a clinical trial where i felt WORSE than this. I felt so sick i couldn't move. Literally couldn't move. The muscle aches were unbearable. Imagine taking medicine that makes you feel worse than COVID. No fun at all It's weird how cancer symptoms are almost identical to a sickness that people complain about. I live through this everyday and go through it with a smile

CT Results (Maybe)

Image
I got my CT scan report through an app on my phone. The results were surprisingly good. Most of the tumors increased as expected, but they only increased by 1-5 millimeters since January 2022. That's hardly anything, not even an inch. I also have no new tumors anywhere.    I think the pain in my abdomen is coming from a tumor in one of my lymph nodes because the ct scan said I had a tumor there. I remember having minor pain in my lower abdomen about 5 months ago, but the pain worsened about a month ago.   I think the cancer was in the lymph node for a while without me really knowing it. However, it is close to a nerve, and now, since it got a little bigger, it is pressing on the nerve harder, thus causing extreme discomfort and pain.   That's just my theory though. I will see what the Dr says. I could be completely off base.   I'm just glad the cancer is not in my bowel or in any other major organs. Thank you, Jesus  

Pain

Image
think this is one of my favorite pictures of myself. My hair is growing back nicely, and I'm relaxing on the lazy boy. Overall, today was a relaxing day. I had an interview today for the KRAS kickers, and that went pretty well. Other than that, I didn't do too much. Today was a blissful day. I only had one setback. This evening, I had pain in my ribs about a 4/10, that was making me somewhat annoyed. I couldn't move because it would agitate it I have tumors in my chest wall that press on the nerves, ligaments, muscles and bones.I take medicine for this, and normally it works. If I didn't have my medicine I would probably be bedridden from the pain. I took my medicine but the pain was still present. I probably need an increase because this has been happening more often. However, despite this, my spirit was somehow calm in the midst of the storm. I felt at peace even though my body was in pain. I believe Jesus helped me get through the pain of my cancer today.

A lot on my mind

Image
  A lot has been on my mind lately. I don't even know where to begin I am ambivalent about the fact i am off chemo now. I like that I am not sick and that I can do more things, bit the idea that the tumors are growing scares the crap out of me. Still upset about the rent increase. It's like they think I'm made out of money. 🤦 Feels like a slap in the face. I'm also terrified of something happening with my back and pelvis. My Dr said they are so fragile they are like an 80 year old's. The tumors in the back and pelvis made the bones weak. I already broke a vertebrae in my spine, which they fixed with surgery, and I have hairline fracture on my pelvis. We are just hoping my body heals the fracture naturally. I've been taking calcium to prevent fractures. kitty.lovie728 A lot has been on my mind lately. I don't even know where to begin I am ambivalent about the fact i am off chemo now. I like that I am not sick and that I can do more things, bit th

Don't be Afriad

Image
  God is reminding me to be strong and not to be afraid. I know that He has a plan for me, and He wants everything to turn out to be good. I worry about many things nowadays, but whenever i think about God, it quiets my heart. He rests my spirit. He helps ease my crazy thoughts. God is good in every way possible. Even though I am struggling, I must remember God has my back.

My Life ugh

Image
Healthy snack of celery and peanut butter. It's helping me overcome the stressing I'm doing today Everything was fine until i learned they are increasing my rent. I am on disability due to my lung cancer, and i barely made it by before the increase. Idk what i am going to do because now all of my bills are going to put me at a deficit. Most of my credit cards are near their limit so i can't even fall back on those for support. I hate freaking out like this Stupid bills. Stupid adulting. Stupid painful and debilitating cancer I have a GoFundMe me in my bio if anyone wants to help. Any help will be appreciated from the bottom of my heart and soul. May God bless you and keep you.

He Loves us

Image
  Have you ever made a mistake. Have you ever lied or ran a red light? That means you are a sinner. Don't worry, I'm not condemning you or trying to make you feel bad, for I am sinner too. All humans are sinners, and we have fallen short of God's glory. However, Jesus loves us so much that He took our sins to the cross and died for us. We don't have to worry that we will be judged for our inequalities because if we believe that Jesus died and rose again, He will advocate for us. He will wipe our sins clean, freeing us from the penalty of death, and take our place for our wrongdoings. We are free in Jesus.